I wrote the other day that I've never lived in a place that I both loved so deeply and wanted to escape. And that luckily, it's more love, for the beauty of the place and the character of the people.
I live in a place where it is inappropriate for a woman to walk alone outside her village. Where doing so puts her at risk of harassment and accusations. But where inside the village, three girls pack themselves onto a donkey, girls and boys shepherd together, women drag cows around by ropes, harvest wheat, potato, and alfalfa, skin trees, learn to read and write.
I live in a place where families are affectionate and loving with children. Kids cuddle up to weathered men in beards and turbans during meetings. Toddlers are often the center of attention. Women nurse in front of me. Babies are wrapped in layer after layer to keep them warm and comforted, their eyes painted with kol, and special necklaces put around their necks for good fortune.
When I visit a village for the first time, men may ignore me entirely during the initial greeting but will then welcome me to the house, give us tea and bread and yogurt, look me in the eye, ask and answer questions, and when it’s time to go, insist that we stay the night. One man has twice dug carrots and Jerusalem artichokes from his garden as a send off gift. Even during Ramadan, as a traveler I was offered sheep milk with sugar in every village.
In one village where over half the population have left for cities or other countries, an elder told me that money is like a miracle, like it has magical powers. He explains how with money you can fly through the sky. Pretty miraculous when you think about it. In another village, sharecroppers explain how they live there at the whim of the landowners and that at any time they could end up like a kite cut from its string.
When I returned after being away for two months, the news coming out of the country had been particularly bad and I flew into the dusty smog of Kabul with some sense of dread and pessimism. And the news hasn’t really improved, fraudulent elections, kidnappings, corruption, Karzai crying on tv about the state of the country, the terrible impacts of war. But I also arrived to good friends, a sweet new healthy baby in my adopted family, Eid celebrations, the news that my friend Freshta is very likely to have the chance to go to university in the US, and the life of this place that just keeps going in the face of everything. My pessimism was replaced with awe for all that this place is and bits of hope that come from everyday interactions, smiles, perseverance, and integrity.
It’s fall time, harvest is everywhere. Piles of wheat and alfalfa being processed for storage. Donkeys and cows walking circle after circle after circle to compress the fodder or begin the process of wheat threshing. Kids wander around with fat-tailed sheep trying to get them as fat as possible to survive long winter months which people say are still long and cold even though they get less than half the snow that they used to. I am as impressed as ever at the way people get by in this beautiful but tough landscape with extraordinarily limited external resources. Wheat for bread, sheep for milk, wool, and selling, mud for houses, and prayer for Allah. These are the staples.
I live along the Helmand river (a canoe would be amazing here). The Koh-e-Baba mountains in the north hold the occasional clouds and already have their first snow. There was a hint of a rainbow today after an unseasonal thunderstorm. I work with wonderful people, colleagues and people in rural villages alike. People depend on pastures and are excited about the possibility of support to work towards restoration and sustainable management. I drink from the well, bathe from a bucket, share a two latrines with a couple other women and twenty men. We live together, eat bread and rice, beans and potatoes, sheep, and drink tea.